twoweevils (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
twoweevils) wrote2005-12-20 06:53 pm
twoweevils) wrote2005-12-20 06:53 pm
Another (mostly) content-free post from K.
1. One of my co-workers has brought in tin after tin after tin of homemade Christmas cookies. The first time I saw them, I was like, "But I always bake cookies for everyone!" But I don't, not anymore. It's really something you do when you're young and underemployed--not a forty-something with two jobs and a commuter marriage. And a broken oven.
2. I will be so relieved when I get my mother to the airport tomorrow. She is in such a tizzy about what to pack and what the trip is going to be like. We realized today that no one in my family (except my sister) has been to California since about 1978.
3. There's a site out there which will make drabbles for you, more or less in the style of Mad Libs. Here's my creation:
A Smart Day To Lick
Gibbs stepped nervously out into the smooth sunshine, and admired DiNozzo's
back. "Ah," he sighed, "That's a large sight."
DiNozzo climbed off the badge and walked tenderly across the grass to greet
his lover. Gibbs patted DiNozzo on the thigh and then tried to lick him
slowly, but without success.
"That's all right," DiNozzo said. "We can try again later."
"I'm just not friendly," Gibbs. "Not as friendly as the time we licked with a
gun."
DiNozzo nodded slyly. "We were joyous back in those days."
"Our necks were younger, and we had a lot more fun with them," Gibbs said.
"Everything seems gentle and soft when you're young."
"Of course," DiNozzo said. "But now we're hot, we can still have fun. If we go
about it intelligently."
"Intelligently?" Gibbs said . "But how?"
"With this," DiNozzo said and held out a wet desk. "Just take that with some
water and in half an hour, you'll be ready to lick."
Gibbs swallowed the desk at once and sure enough, in half an hour, they were
able to lick intelligently. They licked like a squid after a three-day bender.
Three times.
And then the neighbour told them to get off his lawn.
K.
2. I will be so relieved when I get my mother to the airport tomorrow. She is in such a tizzy about what to pack and what the trip is going to be like. We realized today that no one in my family (except my sister) has been to California since about 1978.
3. There's a site out there which will make drabbles for you, more or less in the style of Mad Libs. Here's my creation:
A Smart Day To Lick
Gibbs stepped nervously out into the smooth sunshine, and admired DiNozzo's
back. "Ah," he sighed, "That's a large sight."
DiNozzo climbed off the badge and walked tenderly across the grass to greet
his lover. Gibbs patted DiNozzo on the thigh and then tried to lick him
slowly, but without success.
"That's all right," DiNozzo said. "We can try again later."
"I'm just not friendly," Gibbs. "Not as friendly as the time we licked with a
gun."
DiNozzo nodded slyly. "We were joyous back in those days."
"Our necks were younger, and we had a lot more fun with them," Gibbs said.
"Everything seems gentle and soft when you're young."
"Of course," DiNozzo said. "But now we're hot, we can still have fun. If we go
about it intelligently."
"Intelligently?" Gibbs said . "But how?"
"With this," DiNozzo said and held out a wet desk. "Just take that with some
water and in half an hour, you'll be ready to lick."
Gibbs swallowed the desk at once and sure enough, in half an hour, they were
able to lick intelligently. They licked like a squid after a three-day bender.
Three times.
And then the neighbour told them to get off his lawn.
K.
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One of the best lines to come out of the current drabblematic craze. Absolutely.
My turn!
Goren and Bayliss were celebrating a cushy Valentine's Day together. Goren had cooked a tumescent dinner and they ate in a taxi by candlelight.
"My darling," Bayliss said, stroking Goren's mouth, "I have something for you." He gave a box to Goren. "It is but a disparate token of my wet love."
Goren opened the box. Inside was a throbbing book! He gazed at it moodily. Then he gazed at Bayliss moodily. "It's breathy," Goren said. "Come here and let me tongue you."
Just then, a flamboyant crone sprang out of hiding and cackled like a white-tailed buck. "Your happiness will not last!" she said in a hot voice and dropped a piece of paper onto the dinner table.
Bayliss read it. "It's a page from a diary. It says...it says that you're my brother."
They stared at each other stonily as the crone cackled some more. Goren's ear began to tremble. Then Bayliss shrugged, pulled out a shark, and hit the crone on her toe. She fell over dead.
"Problem solved!" Goren said and kissed Bayliss surely. "This is an acclaimed Valentine's Day!"
They happily burned the diary page in the candle and never told another soul.
And then they tongued each other all night long.
Re: My turn!
Re: My turn!
M.
Re: My turn!
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K.
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K.
Of course it does, Starsky
"Our lipss were younger, and we had a lot more fun with them," Starsky said. "Everything seems achy and old when you're young."
Re: Of course it does, Starsky
K.
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K.
A Stale Occurrence
House paced up and down, jiggling his nape. His very good friend, Mary Sue Spotlight, had arranged to meet him here under the bed. "I have something free to tell you," she had said.
Mary Sue Spotlight was late, which was very unlike her. Any moment now, House expected to see her bounce up, her turgid hair streaming behind her and her merry eyes aglow.
House heard footsteps, but they seemed rather soapy for a delicate and gigantic girl like Mary Sue Spotlight, whose tread was shiny. He turned around and found Wilson staring at him.
"What are you doing here?" Wilson said beatifically. "I thought you said you didn't want to see me again."
House had said that, but now he was beginning to wish he hadn't acted so loudly. "Mary Sue Spotlight asked to meet me here." As he gazed at Wilson, his shoulder began to throb adorably.
"Oh," Wilson said, reliably. "I'll just go then."
"Wait," House said and caught Wilson by his knee. "I was wrong. I still love you. Can you ever forgive me?"
"Yes," Wilson said, smiling. They wrapped their arms around each other and kissed, like a squid after a three-day bender.
From behind a shoelace, Mary Sue Spotlight watched with a pliable light in her red eyes. She took a list out of her pocket, and checked off "House/Wilson". Then, she skipped off to help an embittered man find love again, just as soon as she'd saved the river otter from extinction.
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*smooch*
M.